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- pink princess
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Nuts or Not
I was thinking it would be fun if we did a hangout, where we did our own nuts or nots. I know every once in awhile I run into a situation, where I am like "Is this me or is this the other person?" Anyway, I am going through one right now, so I thought I would start out:
So I am in my friend's wedding in June, and we recently had her shower. Leading up the shower, we never really discussed budget. The maid of honor (my friend's sister) basically just emailed us announcing that we were going to do it at what I would consider a fairly expensive restaurant for 80 people. I emailed her after this stating that not including travel and gift, I had a $100-$150 budget for contributing to shower costs, and asking if we could either invite less people or find a more reasonably priced venue. She never responded and I emailed her again, basically stating that I would be happy to help by providing ideas for cutting costs.
Anyway, she basically blew me off and told me her parents were going to help out, so I shouldn't worry about it. The shower came and went and a couple of days ago, she split up the costs and told me that I owed her way more than my initial budget.
I emailed her back, making sure to be very polite, and said that I felt like I was ignored when I tried to express myself for how much I could give and that it wasn't fair. She emailed me back basically making excuses, saying that she is offended that I am asserting that she didn't take my budget into account and that she cut costs as much as she could (yet she still did not change the venue or reach out to me about my ideas for how we could cut costs). She also suggested that I should have told my friend it was a bad time for me if I couldn't afford this and not agreed to be in the wedding.
I know I probably should have shut my mouth in the first place. I can actually afford to give the requested amount, but I am not allowed to work next year for this internship I am doing, and so we are really trying to save. Beyond this, I don't feel like being in a wedding should be about the money you can give or the amount of disposable income I have. It should be about the friendship.
- piopio12
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Re: Nuts or Not
You are not nuts!! you told the girl your budget and stick to it!!!! Why do people do crazy ass shit when it comes to weddings. I just can't even. My best friend just got married, i was MOH, and our other friend is going through financial hard times. I understood this, I did steals and deals for the shower gift, and I asked the other girl to make what would of been the cheapest thing. Instead of making it she bought it, completely over priced then complained she had to spend $100. Well if you made it it would of been $30. but you are lazy, so i can't help stupid. This friend also told the other host she needed to buy like 20 bottles of champagne for 30 person shower. WTF?
- greattaste
- pink princess
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Re: Nuts or Not
piopio12 wrote:
You are not nuts!! you told the girl your budget and stick to it!!!! Why do people do crazy ass shit when it comes to weddings. I just can't even. My best friend just got married, i was MOH, and our other friend is going through financial hard times. I understood this, I did steals and deals for the shower gift, and I asked the other girl to make what would of been the cheapest thing. Instead of making it she bought it, completely over priced then complained she had to spend $100. Well if you made it it would of been $30. but you are lazy, so i can't help stupid. This friend also told the other host she needed to buy like 20 bottles of champagne for 30 person shower. WTF?
20 bottles of champagne for a 30 person bridal shower? Sounds like a rager ha ha. That is so ridiculous. I am all for making something instead of throwing money on it for these types of things, like you said. That girl should not have complained if she could downplay the costs.
That was my whole thing with this bridal shower. There were so many things people spent money on that was unnecessary, and I am kind of on the outside of the group, because I am a college friend and everyone else is a high school friend, so I didn't feel comfortable stepping up and putting this out there to the group.
I really tried to get the MOH to step in and be like this is our budget, but because it was assumed (not asked, assumed) we would all split costs evenly, no one really cared about downplaying their own part, even if we did put labor into it (which I did).
I also just really resent the fact that they told me I shouldn't be in the wedding if I have a budget. I spent over $300 on this shower in total with my budget and donated a bunch of bottles of wine/prosecco my parents had collected and probably would never have used. I didn't charge for that, because I didn't necessarily pay for them, but I am helping my mom out with things (what she asked for when I offered to pay her). Since when is it a requirement to spend almost $500 on a bridal shower in order to be a bridesmaid?
Last edited by greattaste (4/13/2016 9:20 am)
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Thread Starter- piopio12
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Re: Nuts or Not
I would talk to the bride, unless she's a crazy person (which she did request at 80 person shower, so you may have a cray on your hand) I think she would understand where you are coming from and your situation and would be appalled by how the other girls are treating you!
Has the bachelorette party been planned/taken place?
- greattaste
- pink princess
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Re: Nuts or Not
Nope, she is crazy. Long story but I didn't really want to be in this wedding in the first place. I am pretty sure she was feeding some of her sister's response. I kind of want to quit the wedding. That would be the worst thing I have ever done to someone, but I am seriously considering this at this point. I just think it is going to be super uncomfortable, not enjoyable at all, and I have been having these feelings for a really long time.
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Thread Starter- Judgement_Twin
- pink princess
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Re: Nuts or Not
What is wrong with people? Where are their manners? For shame on the MOH and the bride for being little bitches. DO NOT hand over any more than what you stipulated in the first place. Being part of a wedding doesn't mean burning through your savings or putting stress on how you spend. If you're not enjoying this experience, drop out and don't give it a seconds thought.
- greattaste
- pink princess
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Re: Nuts or Not
What is wrong with people? Where are their manners? For shame on the MOH and the bride for being little bitches. DO NOT hand over any more than what you stipulated in the first place. Being part of a wedding doesn't mean burning through your savings or putting stress on how you spend. If you're not enjoying this experience, drop out and don't give it a seconds thought.
Amen! FYI I gave $150, which is the most I said I could give. I feel really bad leaving her high and dry, mostly because I know she is so concerned about how things are going to look, but that, in itself illustrates my problem with the situation: I am not a person to her, I am a living mannequin to take part in her wedding.
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Thread Starter- MartyArowl
- Banned
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Re: Nuts or Not
Fair enough. I would normally either use the Lilo boot prompt or init 1 from console though Im not sure that would be a safe option in this instance.....
- Alexandersot
- new/might not be legit
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Re: Nuts or Not
I was struggling to repost this with the source code, but the website returned wtih message "the service is tempoary unavailable..."
Now I can only post the message with out source code.
How can I post the source code?
Thanks