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1 of 1- Durst_Burp
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Cheating
I was listening to Barstool today, and obviously all they talked about was KFC cheating. It was Dave and KFC on the show, and Dave said something to the effect of “it’s a tough spot for me, because I’m your friend, but what you did was super shitty/you’re kind of a dirt bag”. What do you all think about that- how would it affect your friendship if your friend was a big time cheater? What about if one of your SO’s close friends cheated- would you want them to stop hanging out with that person? We’ve had this happen with a couple of both mine and my husband’s friends so we’ve discussed it, and I’m curious what others think.
P.S. - even if you don’t listen to Barstool, give today’s show a listen. It’s not often you hear someone in the public eye be this candid about something like this, especially not so soon. It was a very interesting conversation.
I might be from the Sunshine State, but I can still be a little shady.🌴
- Karma
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Attractive guy. In his prime, loves sex like any other guy. Has women throwing themselves at him due to looks and a successful public career. Never hears the word no. Wife gets pregnant, she says no (which is understandable).
this is the test of a mans integrity.
He failed.
I have had friends that have failed this test. Many of them. I have subsequently cut them out of my life.
Never leave your buddy alone with your girlfriend or your car. Because he will eventually throw a rod in both of them. (Mechanics proverb)
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Re: Cheating
Karma wrote:
Attractive guy. In his prime, loves sex like any other guy. Has women throwing themselves at him due to looks and a successful public career. Never hears the word no. Wife gets pregnant, she says no (which is understandable).
this is the test of a mans integrity.
He failed.
I have had friends that have failed this test. Many of them. I have subsequently cut them out of my life.
Never leave your buddy alone with your girlfriend or your car. Because he will eventually throw a rod in both of them. (Mechanics proverb)
😂😂😂
KFC did say today that when things were not-so-fun at home, he should have manned up and just dealt with it but he took the cowardly way out.
I might be from the Sunshine State, but I can still be a little shady.🌴
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Thread Starter- Karma
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I’m not in another person’s relationship so I can’t judge. Cheating (physically) to me is not really worse than any other ways people choose to cheat their partners out of intimacy. Obsessing over video games, shopping, your family, etc. and ignoring your spouse, to me, is the same kind of pain. I’ve been there, and cheating with a new partner certainly involves all kinds of different humiliation and insecurity and potential sex buggies, but in terms of the human collateral damage they’re similar enough that I don’t distinguish. Treat people kindly, as much and as often as you can.
Hits close to home.
But truer words have never been said.
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I’m not in another person’s relationship so I can’t judge. Cheating (physically) to me is not really worse than any other ways people choose to cheat their partners out of intimacy. Obsessing over video games, shopping, your family, etc. and ignoring your spouse, to me, is the same kind of pain. I’ve been there, and cheating with a new partner certainly involves all kinds of different humiliation and insecurity and potential sex buggies, but in terms of the human collateral damage they’re similar enough that I don’t distinguish. Treat people kindly, as much and as often as you can.
I completely agree. I think any kind of major dishonesty in a relationship is equally problematic.
The first time we ran into this was when a guy in his early 50’s, we’ll call him Jack, cheated on his wife (2 kids under 10) with a girl my age (I was 26 at the time). Jack was a member at the golf course my husband worked at, so there was a social-professional relationship there as they would go out of town to golf tournaments together. I also babysat for Jack’s family from the time I was about 20 until 24-ish. About two years later when we sent a wedding invite to Jack’s family, his wife includes a note with the RSVP that they are separated. I found out through the grapevine he had been cheating with a girl I went to college with. So creepy. (he married her and he makes his kids hang out with the tramp 😡)
Anyhow, I told my husband he can hang out with whoever he wants, but if anything looks fishy while he’s hanging out with Jack and that group it might get him in hot water. I’m happy so say my husband chose not to socialize with Jack anymore. But we did run into him at an event recently and I gave him ALL of the side eye.
I might be from the Sunshine State, but I can still be a little shady.🌴
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Thread Starter- Karma
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Yep. The “bros before hoes” mantra is best retired once you are married.
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Yep. The “bros before hoes” mantra is best retired once you are married.
Definitely. I don’t like much that she says, but Dr. Laura often says that you have to come home to your wife every night, no one else, so that relationship needs to be the priority.
I might be from the Sunshine State, but I can still be a little shady.🌴
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Thread Starter- Hawr-rible
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Oh Durst, you are so timely with this thread- have this going on right now with friends. One of my closest friends just cheated on her husband, who is one of my husband's closest friends. The husband knows (hell, our whole friend group knows) and it's a mess. We found out about it on Christmas Eve when they were at our house. (Christmas Eve was.....interesting this year). Anyway, my husband and I don't know what to do about our friendships with them. At first, my husband got pissed at my friend (let's call her Jane) for cheating on his friend (let's call him John), and wanted me to automatically be pissed at Jane. But the thing is, John has been a horrible husband- negligent, alcohol problem, un-affectionate, verbally abusive. Now, I'm not saying infidelity is ever ok, but I understand what drove her to have an affair. So, I'm not just automatically going to write off Jane; we've talked, she knows what she did was wrong, etc. My husband does not understand why I'm not just so pissed off at Jane, and wants to paint a scarlet letter on her because no matter what an asshole John has been (and my husband knows he has) he is now a saint because Jane cheated. Ugh, it's messy. My husband and I even fought about it one night until we both agreed it's best we don't discuss it between us anymore- we don't need it affecting our marriage. So, I guess my answer to your question is I don't really know and it's complicated.
Life's a bitch...and so am I.
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Hawrible your situation is much more complicated than any we’ve had.
I’m with you on this one. While I agree there is no excuse for cheating, I think there’s a big difference between a run of the mill, no spark left/generally unhappy marriage and one in which someone has crossed a major line, in this case the alcoholic/verbally abusive husband. Seems like what he did/is doing is just as bad as her cheating so at worst they’re even.
IMO, from what you’ve told me, Jane should be putting that cheating energy into leaving John. The pair of them sound like a hot mess and should probably go their separate ways.
Similar-ish- long story short, my cousin’s fiancé cheated on her with 2 different women on his bachelor party cruise and kept texting one after he got home, six weeks before their wedding. This wasn’t the first time he’d cheated in their relationship. She “postponed” the wedding and I was very supportive of her...until she flat out told me she was taking him back because she didn’t want to be 30 and single. (?!) I completely lost respect for both of them after that, and we don’t really have a relationship anymore. We used to double date all the time, but idk how my husband and I could sit across the table from that guy knowing what we do.
I might be from the Sunshine State, but I can still be a little shady.🌴
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Thread Starter- Karma
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Trust has to be earned. Whether it is a friend, an acquaintance, and especially a spouse. Mistakes happen, people are human. And it sounds as if she got the CSAH treatment. But knowing when to draw the line with an “offender” can be very blurry.
My breaking point is when it affects my life. When their problems become mine....it is time to gracefully ghost out. My family takes priority.
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Hawrible your situation is much more complicated than any we’ve had.
I’m with you on this one. While I agree there is no excuse for cheating, I think there’s a big difference between a run of the mill, no spark left/generally unhappy marriage and one in which someone has crossed a major line, in this case the alcoholic/verbally abusive husband. Seems like what he did/is doing is just as bad as her cheating so at worst they’re even.
IMO, from what you’ve told me, Jane should be putting that cheating energy into leaving John. The pair of them sound like a hot mess and should probably go their separate ways.
Similar-ish- long story short, my cousin’s fiancé cheated on her with 2 different women on his bachelor party cruise and kept texting one after he got home, six weeks before their wedding. This wasn’t the first time he’d cheated in their relationship. She “postponed” the wedding and I was very supportive of her...until she flat out told me she was taking him back because she didn’t want to be 30 and single. (?!) I completely lost respect for both of them after that, and we don’t really have a relationship anymore. We used to double date all the time, but idk how my husband and I could sit across the table from that guy knowing what we do.
That is a crazy story- what an ass!
What's just as insane is that Jane just told me something similar to what your friend told you- she knew marrying John was probably a mistake but she was 37 when they got marred two years ago, and she didn't want to wind up "an old maid". WTF? I was so taken aback; Jane is a very smart, saavy, strong, independent woman- I couldn't believe she just settled for a marriage because she thought she was getting too old to be single and he proposed. Still blows my mind. They won't make it; their marriage was over before it even started, I think.
Life's a bitch...and so am I.
- Ican'teveeeen
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I listened to the show yesterday. Yikes, shocked how honest he was about what happened. I do not see this marriage lasting though. He has only been married 3 years. Not good. I did find it odd how Dave kept laughing.
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I listened to the show yesterday. Yikes, shocked how honest he was about what happened. I do not see this marriage lasting though. He has only been married 3 years. Not good. I did find it odd how Dave kept laughing.
Right?! It was wild to listen to. I was shocked that he cried on air, I almost felt bad for the guy. Dave laughing was odd, but the whole situation is odd and I know I would be super uncomfortable if I were Dave in that situation. I'm not sure I'd know what to do/say.
I was DYING laughing at the intro songs Frankie was playing though. I only wish he would have worked "Hit the Road Jack" in there somewhere.
I might be from the Sunshine State, but I can still be a little shady.🌴
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Thread Starter- FKFriday
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I'm an uncomfortable laugher. I can't help it, and it always comes at the worse times. Friends know not to come to me over a break up, when you want to drink and go to the bar, I'm your girl!