Well, I'm not very good about not sweating the small stuff so I can't tell you how not to, but I can tell you how I try to cope. If you aren't already, make lists. It helps me calm down to see everything written down - I know I'm not forgetting anything and feel like I can control it. Also, don't look at that big list/everything left to do before the wedding all at once, it will feel overwhelming and you'll want to just say "f it, I can't do this". Prioritize that list and just focus on one or two things at a time.

I feel like this is super obvious advice, but I had a mini-meltdown in college and almost dropped out because I was looking at all the work I had to do for the rest of the semester as a giant mountain I didn't think I could climb. When I started focusing on just what was due that day/week, it really helped me.

I got married fairly recently and planned the whole thing myself, so if you have any more specific wedding/how to do things on the cheap questions feel free to message me.

Oh- and don't be afraid to tell pushy people to kick rocks. There's a difference between being a petty bridezilla and standing up for yourself (I struggled with being afraid people would think I was just being a bridezilla for a while). The week of our wedding, my nutty MIL asked my husband if her friend could come with her adult daughter. We had a plated dinner in a small-ish restaurant for our reception, the seating chart had been done for weeks. My first instinct was to say yes because I didn't want to be rude, but then I realized she was the rude one for asking this of an already overwhelmed bride/groom and told her no. This is one of few times in your life when it really is pretty much all about you and your husband-to-be, and your happiness on the day is what's most important.

Hang in there girl!

Last edited by Durst_Burp (1/25/2017 8:31 am)

what are some things that are over whelming you?

With regards to cost, I just thought about what I remembered about other weddings I've been to and if something cost a ridiculous amount, and I never remembered it about a previous wedding. I opted for a cheaper option. 

piopio12 wrote:

what are some things that are over whelming you?

With regards to cost, I just thought about what I remembered about other weddings I've been to and if something cost a ridiculous amount, and I never remembered it about a previous wedding. I opted for a cheaper option. 

I think cost is the main thing that's making me crazy. I just can't justify spending all this money on one day.

And I do need to reflect on other weddings I've been to and decide what's ultimately important, because little details are bothering me too... lighting, centerpieces, flowers, favors, cocktail hour food....

I guess I just didn't think it would be this difficult for me to make decisions and stick by them.
 

I need to check out this etiquette podcast! I just looked it up and there seems to be a lot of wedding topics. Looks like I know what I'll be listening to today! Thank you.

I also see one about line cutting, which I absolutely hate and have verbally attacked someone once for trying to cut in front of me... so I can't wait to hear how wrong I was... haha

BathiesTime wrote:

Durst_Burp wrote:

I'll have to try and remember the name of the site, you could try Googling it, but there is a website where people go and sell their wedding décor - like the 1,000 gold votives they'll never use again. I've also seen wedding décor pop up a lot on my local Facebook Swip Swap pages. And since you've still got some time (shipping takes 4-6 weeks sometimes because its direct from China) you can get great stuff SUPER cheap on AliExpress. I'm part of a Facebook group all about wedding/party supplies from AliExpress - let me know if you want to join.

Wize.com is one! Holy crap why didn't I ask questions on this board earlier!? I didn't even think of buying used... I've just been to about four rental companies and I gotta tell you, place the word "wedding" in front of something and then be prepared to go broke.
 

No kidding! And I didn't discover the "used" wedding market until way after my wedding, I could kick myself!

Just out of curiosity, where are you getting married? (lol geographic location, not the specific venue)

BathiesTime wrote:

Durst_Burp wrote:

I'll have to try and remember the name of the site, you could try Googling it, but there is a website where people go and sell their wedding décor - like the 1,000 gold votives they'll never use again. I've also seen wedding décor pop up a lot on my local Facebook Swip Swap pages. And since you've still got some time (shipping takes 4-6 weeks sometimes because its direct from China) you can get great stuff SUPER cheap on AliExpress. I'm part of a Facebook group all about wedding/party supplies from AliExpress - let me know if you want to join.

Wize.com is one! Holy crap why didn't I ask questions on this board earlier!? I didn't even think of buying used... I've just been to about four rental companies and I gotta tell you, place the word "wedding" in front of something and then be prepared to go broke.
 

I got a lot of my wedding items from save-on-crafts.com, the site may seem sketchy but they do have nice things and shipping is quick. I have zero complaints about the items I received! 

I am currently planning my second wedding in two years (first husband ditched out 5 months in - now I'm reconnected with college sweetheart and all is well in my little world). It's hard. We are going relatively small, but this is my fiance's first wedding and he wants all his friends and family there, which I get, but I don't. With that said, I had an absolute blast planning my first wedding! Organization is key - lists and spreadsheets for budget help a ton. I also had a few different "secret" pinterest boards to keep track of web links for me. My label maker was my friend when it came to organizing decor and even folders of lists and receipts etc. Good luck - we're here for you!  
 

Last edited by On_Point (1/25/2017 10:13 am)

I'm an event planner. In terms of decor-do spend on lighting. It's the most cost effective way to transform your space. If you want to cut decor budget (biggest waste in my opinion), cut out flowers and use candles etc. I was a floral designer too and I feel guilry saying that but it's a great way to cut costs. Nobody will mind if you don't give a favor. Perhaps a donation to a cause that's important to you and let everyone know. Food and entertainment seem to be the most important musts (and photos) but there are still ways to save. Discuss with your venue swapping out some food items for ones that are just as good but maybe less expensive.

Budget is always he biggest stressor and you aren't alone in that anxiety. We spent an obscene amount of money on our wedding. It was totally stupid and prevented us from buying a house for a few years etc. But in the end, all the stress was worth it. It was the absolute best day of my life (my childrens' births I count as the best moments because obviously those were amazing too). Certain things I made a priority for my wedding and I never regret it.

to add on to Durst, I also made a list of every group photo I wanted and gave it to the photographer in advance, so she could just call out names.  We also did a first look which I would suggest to EVERYONE! we took essentially all the photos before hand so we could enjoy the receptions because nothing is worst than missing an hour of the most expensive party you'll ever throw.

for center pieces I purchases 3-sets of 4 types of vases, the biggest ones I gave one to my mom, kept one, and one to my husbands mom and step mom.  1/2 off at Hobby Lobby can be your best friend! I also suggest the dollar store online, they have tons of vases and candles for $1. 

For flowers I went to Whole Foods, if you purchase a case of flowers you get a discount, and I only had 1 type of flower so they didn't charge me for arranging them.  I don't know why.  but I will tell you I had Blair Walsdorf level of Peony at my wedding for $500. 

I love the idea of giving each groomsmen an itinerary! My fiancé's friends will need it.
I also love the idea of already have poses picked out for the photog. Very smart.

Uhh well as far as the white dress goes, pretty sure only like 2% of the population should even be wearing white at their first wedding if we're really going to follow tradition.

Lol next time someone gives you side-eye about it, just say "oh right, because you were a virgin on your wedding day." 🙄

NutsOrNot wrote:

I love all of the wedding talk. I'm also planning my wedding. It's my second wedding, my fiance's firs time. It's a lot smaller then my first wedding (250 people) with 100 people, but my first wedding my parents paid for and my mom basically planned it since I was in grad school. I love planning this wedding, but hate all the side eyes I get from some people, because it's my second wedding as if i shouldn't wear a white dress, have a Bridal party, etc. my first wedding was ten years ago and I feel so much differently going into this wedding then I did with my last.

I feel this too. My second, fiance's first. My first was just two years ago and I think my dad and step-mom thinks we should have just gone to the courthouse (plus I am now pregnant, but was engaged before that happened..). We didn't even register because I felt guilty that I had just received all these gifts and money from my first... I do regret that, if only for his side. Trying not to sweat the "small" stuff or the side eyes, but damn. It's hard! 

Ha, yeah. I'm an introvert and tend to always have a small but very close group of girlfriends vs. being a social butterfly who knows everyone (like my BFF and husband, oddly enough. Opposites attract?).

If its going to be a small group, maybe have a lunch/brunch shower at a restaurant instead of a big to-do at someone's house? That's what I did - my MOH showed up a little early and put some cute little flowers/favors on the table and it was a good time (you also get to skip all the silly games doing it this way).

I cannot stand massive showers. As someone who has throw both types, I just think it looks greedy to have more than 30ish ppl. Like not everyone goes to a shower.  But that's just my opinion, which is based on a specific shower and the guest list I had to throw.

What are you unsure of about your possible wedding dress? It is a really big purchase so I understand being apprehensive.

Finally decided on my dress!! It's something I love, my bridesmaids preferred another dress on me, but the dress I picked I knew I wanted as soon as I put it on.

New issue is a bridesmaid from hell. i feel like we all need our own Almost Hitched Bitch moments.

I love this thread!! I just got engaged in January. ❤ were planning to purchase a house before the wedding so we're not at the full out planning stage yet. Right now I'm just getting ideas and ways to save together. Has anyone here had experience with DIY ing stuff for their wedding? I'm thinking of having it in my parent's backyard because it's huge and beautiful. I'm trying to determine which things I can do myself with the family vs. what I should pay for. For example, most likely we'll be paying full price for a photographer because that's one of the most important things to me. So any tips or anything for someone at the pre-planning stages or anything would be really awesome! & congrats on finding a dress nutsornot!