Taylor Strecker Show & Kenny Zimlingshow Fans » Mom Advice

On_Point · 3/15/2018 9:53 am

I would post on a parenting board, but those mommas can get craaaazy! I am probably over reacting but something it bugging me. Just would like some advice or someone (other than family) to tell him to let it go.

My little guy (Dallas) just turned 10 months and started a new daycare last month. We were going to a center but now the only option is an in-home.

Dallas is a VERY happy boy, hardly fussy ever (even with 6 teeth now) and loves life. We asked the doctor at his 6 month appt if she thought he was ok because he literally never cried. He does now a little more as he grows, but i think some of it is just testing out new emotions Apparently he's pretty fussy at daycare, they definitely don't believe me when I say he's such a happy boy. He really is a go with the flow babe, but I guess not for them. This makes me wonder why...

A few things...

They have a little yippy dog that licks my baby and I have seen the dog jump on him and knock him over. Dallas HATES the dog and cries when he is close to him. I don't know why they have to have the dog inside when Dallas is on the floor.....

Yesterday the weather was beautiful and they played outside. Great. They had Dallas in a swing and when I pulled up the owners daughter was pushing him REALLY high. Like. Almost flipping out backwards high. I hurried over and when I was almost there, I heard the girl say "ok Dallas" time for an underdoggy!" My heart sank and I leaped and caught the swing before it got too high. The owner just laughed like it was no big deal. Umm. hello!

This brings me to the owners daughter again.. she kisses Dallas on the mouth. She is 8 so she's in school and is a little walking petri dish. I can live with kisses on the cheeks. Dallas is a lover and loves to give kisses so I can kind of see how the mouth kisses occur, but the girl should be told no each time, right? I have told her please only cheek and top of head kisses for Dallas, yet the owner says nothing.

Probably all small things but they are bugging me. I think I am in the category of "attachment" parent, he sleeps with me and get's the boob whenever he is upset. He is a huge momma's boy, but happy for daddy and grandparents too. Am I overreacting or should I say something? (sorry for the long post...)

Hawr-rible · 3/15/2018 9:59 am

Ooh girl, I don't like the sound of a lot of that..... the dog thing- that dog should not be allowed to jump all over a small child. I know they love their dog and think it's cute and he is "just playing" but thanks to crap like that when my daughter was little, she is afraid of dogs to this day, and she is now 10 years old. The little girl kissing him- totally inappropriate! Again, the sitter probably thinks it's just so cute, but it's gross- he is not a relative of theirs, and little girls are germy AF. That is boundary crossing, IMO- a cheek kiss is ok, I guess, but not on the mouth. That is a hard no from me. Even my own friends never kissed my babies on the mouth. I would start seeking out another sitter, if it were me.....

On_Point · 3/15/2018 10:19 am

Hawr-rible wrote:
Ooh girl, I don't like the sound of a lot of that..... the dog thing- that dog should not be allowed to jump all over a small child. I know they love their dog and think it's cute and he is "just playing" but thanks to crap like that when my daughter was little, she is afraid of dogs to this day, and she is now 10 years old. The little girl kissing him- totally inappropriate! Again, the sitter probably thinks it's just so cute, but it's gross- he is not a relative of theirs, and little girls are germy AF. That is boundary crossing, IMO- a cheek kiss is ok, I guess, but not on the mouth. That is a hard no from me. Even my own friends never kissed my babies on the mouth. I would start seeking out another sitter, if it were me.....

Thank you. I needed someone on the outside to tell me that.

We have an outside dog at home (We live on a farm and he lived here before we moved in a is so old he refused to move with his owners and kept coming back so we just said to leave him and we'd take care of him. He's a nice dog.) and Dallas just goes "ooh ooh ooh" at him and freaks when he get's close. So he's definitely not a dog baby. We would like to get another this spring that Dallas can get to know better. But this little thing jumping all over him is doing no good!

Durst_Burp · 3/15/2018 10:20 am

I don't have kids, and I typically lean towards moms being generally way too sensitive/overprotective, but even I think this stuff is a no-go. It all freaks me out, but the swing thing just seems SO dangerous. I feel like a child that small should barely be pushed in a swing, and only in one of those bucket type swings made for very small children.

On_Point · 3/15/2018 10:26 am

Durst_Burp wrote:
I don't have kids, and I typically lean towards moms being generally way too sensitive/overprotective, but even I think this stuff is a no-go. It all freaks me out, but the swing thing just seems SO dangerous. I feel like a child that small should barely be pushed in a swing, and only in one of those bucket type swings made for very small children.

Yes! It was a little bucket thing made for babies, but still way too high and fast honestly. He was not having fun at all, his face was so serious and he is always all smiles and loves to rough house. So I definitely think he was as scared as I was.

Here's the problem - we live in such a small town, there are only a few day cares available and to get an opening is hard. As I keep looking for something, what do I say to her in the mean time? I do not want to be a difficult mom, because I think that would make things worse, but I need to say something... ugh.

DreamTalk · 3/15/2018 10:39 am

Run from this place. You need to listen to your own intuition. These are the only things that you have seen. You don't know what you are not seeing. Plus, having dogs around babies scare me. If one of the kids unknowingly goes after the dogs food, that dog might snap.

Sorry that there is only a few options. If you have to stay there for awhile, I would defiantly tell them you don't want him around the dog or in a swing.

Goldclutch · 3/15/2018 10:51 am

Yeah, I agree with what the others say. I would be super pissed about the dog licking my baby. Unpopular opinion alert (so close your eyes dog people), but I am not OK with dogs licking me or my kids. You can get all kinds of parasites that way, and it grosses me out. It always has. Just my preference.

The swinging thing is also scary. Ugh! Your poor, sweet baby! It sucks that your options are limited, but are there any churches with daycare in your area? I don't work anymore, but when I did my son went to a church, and it was a wonderful, wonderful experience. Even if you're not religious at all, the church daycares, where I live at least, are incredible and usually have a waiting list for a year and a half. Anyway, best of luck with your situation!

Karma · 3/15/2018 11:08 am

Pull the rip cord and get the little guy out of there. He can never t tell you that he is unhappy any other way than being fussy at this stage. If you are not comfortable with it, then he is not. At this stage he is learning is emotional cues from you and dad. He knows that you are not cool with it. Therefore, he is not cool with it.

Longtimelistener · 3/15/2018 3:16 pm

This would send up a huge red flag to me. We have dogs and although I’m ok with them licking me, I do not want them near my infant. Also the fact that he wasn’t enjoying the swing is enough for them to clue into not doing what they were doing. Is this place licensed? It sounds like a lot of things that would be of concern but again, maybe different states/different regulations. I’m so sorry you are stuck too. When you don’t have the childcare you want/need it’s a huge burden. And none of this even touches on the 8 yr old too. So inappropriate in so many ways.

Hawr-rible · 3/15/2018 3:38 pm

The more I think about this situation, the worse I feel about it- from one mother to another, get him out of there as soon as possible. Always TRUST YOUR GUT; if it feels bad, it probably is- like others said, what is happening that you are not getting to see? I debated on whether to tell you this, but I really want to reiterate how important it is to trust your gut when it comes to your kids.....a woman in town had a daycare and it was my MIL best friend's sister's. The sister was really pushing me to choose her sister's daycare when she found out I was looking, but I was hesitant because she was just sort of a loud, obnoxious woman when I had met her, and I just didn't like her much. But I almost went with her; husband and I considered it for a bit before deciding, no- even though it meant I was not going back to work after maternity leave. So I decide to stay home with my kids instead, since there were no other daycare spots open for babies. 6 months later, a baby died in this woman's care, of asphyxiation. This chick used to force babies to nap by strapping them very tightly in their infant seats, and would shut them in her bedroom to scream themselves to sleep. She made this little baby's straps too tight to breathe and she fucking died because of it. When I heard I just sat on my kitchen floor and bawled for an hour, remembering how I almost entrusted this bitch with my kids. Now, I have no inkling that Dallas is in super danger like that, but this woman is poorly trained, obviously, and I would just hate for an accident to occur. He is your most precious possession; unless you feel 100% safe leaving him there, please try to find something else!

On_Point · 3/15/2018 4:27 pm

Oh my God. He will be staying home with me tomorrow so I can talk to my husband more about this.

Thank you for all your responses!! I really appreciate the honesty. So many family members just shrug it off like it's nothing, but it is something. He is my BABY. (my insta is emileehoffscneider) if you want to see baby Dally. He is so much fun!

Hawr-rible · 3/15/2018 4:42 pm

On_Point wrote:
Oh my God. He will be staying home with me tomorrow so I can talk to my husband more about this.

Thank you for all your responses!! I really appreciate the honesty. So many family members just shrug it off like it's nothing, but it is something. He is my BABY. (my insta is emileehoffscneider) if you want to see baby Dally. He is so much fun!

I bet he is adorable- I'll have to check him out! Ugh, family can be the worst with this stuff sometimes- when it's not your kid, you just don't get it. It chills me to think how close I came to being coerced into having this woman care for my kids- and I don't fault my mother-in-law for pushing me toward her, she had no idea what this woman used to do with these kids. She had just known the family for 30 years and considered this woman a friend, so why would she not recommend her? She definitely was surprised when I refused to use her daycare, but I just played it off like I was just wanting to take a break from working anyway and would just rather stay home; I knew she might be offended if I told her that her friend seemed too weird to babysit my kids. I'm just so relieved I didn't get pushed into it, and went with my gut- there was something I just didn't like about the woman, and I turned out to be right, unfortunately....

PrincessPoppy · 3/15/2018 5:11 pm

On_Point wrote:
Oh my God. He will be staying home with me tomorrow so I can talk to my husband more about this.

Thank you for all your responses!! I really appreciate the honesty. So many family members just shrug it off like it's nothing, but it is something. He is my BABY. (my insta is emileehoffscneider) if you want to see baby Dally. He is so much fun!

I’m so glad everyone else responded to you because I completely missed this!
I have two in daycare myself. Sending your kids off is brutal enough and you have to LOVE where your child is. THE SWING?! I can’t believe the owner didn’t say anything to the daughter. Also, I have a dog, but am iffy around other dogs with my kids. The owner should be taking your concerns seriously. If you are concerned for safety pull him out, but if you think talking to the owner will work then give that a shot. Trust your gut, Momma!

Goldclutch · 3/15/2018 5:56 pm

Hawrible - that story will haunt me for a long time. Did the woman end up in jail? Words can't describe how awful I feel for that baby.

piopio12 · 3/15/2018 6:11 pm

I agree with you, all those things seems not ok, and I don’t have children.

Dogs and children freak me out, maybe bc I’m a cat person, and cats are asshats that will just bit you, but I just think a dog could do that and cause more damage. And kissing on the mouth is gross.

But what’s an underdog?

FKFriday · 3/15/2018 6:34 pm

When you push a swing up really high and run under it while someone is on it. Those bucket seats are super tippy though, good chance of flipping the baby out while running under.

WhosBecky? · 3/15/2018 7:19 pm

You couldn't pay me to use an in home day care. They're just ticking time bombs IMO. Unless its grandma in your house or hers. None of this sits right with me. I'd enlarge the daycare search radius if you can.
How about churches, have you tried them? I think they have to abide by the same rules as daycares. There's also a website of accredited daycares....NAEYC. Try them too hopefully you've missed one. Good luck girl!

Hawr-rible · 3/15/2018 7:34 pm

Goldclutch wrote:
Hawrible - that story will haunt me for a long time. Did the woman end up in jail? Words can't describe how awful I feel for that baby.

No, that's the suckiest part- I don't think she was ever convicted of anything, at least not I ever heard about. Lost her daycare for sure, though. Just awful.

On_Point · 3/15/2018 9:36 pm

Hawr-rible wrote:
On_Point wrote:
Oh my God. He will be staying home with me tomorrow so I can talk to my husband more about this.

Thank you for all your responses!! I really appreciate the honesty. So many family members just shrug it off like it's nothing, but it is something. He is my BABY. (my insta is emileehoffschneider) if you want to see baby Dally. He is so much fun!
I bet he is adorable- I'll have to check him out! Ugh, family can be the worst with this stuff sometimes- when it's not your kid, you just don't get it. It chills me to think how close I came to being coerced into having this woman care for my kids- and I don't fault my mother-in-law for pushing me toward her, she had no idea what this woman used to do with these kids. She had just known the family for 30 years and considered this woman a friend, so why would she not recommend her? She definitely was surprised when I refused to use her daycare, but I just played it off like I was just wanting to take a break from working anyway and would just rather stay home; I knew she might be offended if I told her that her friend seemed too weird to babysit my kids. I'm just so relieved I didn't get pushed into it, and went with my gut- there was something I just didn't like about the woman, and I turned out to be right, unfortunately....

*edited to say my insta is emileehoffschneider (last name is so hard and long lol)

Last edited by On_Point (3/15/2018 9:37 pm)

On_Point · 3/15/2018 9:54 pm

PrincessPoppy wrote:
On_Point wrote:
Oh my God. He will be staying home with me tomorrow so I can talk to my husband more about this.

Thank you for all your responses!! I really appreciate the honesty. So many family members just shrug it off like it's nothing, but it is something. He is my BABY. (my insta is emileehoffscneider) if you want to see baby Dally. He is so much fun!

I’m so glad everyone else responded to you because I completely missed this!
I have two in daycare myself. Sending your kids off is brutal enough and you have to LOVE where your child is. THE SWING?! I can’t believe the owner didn’t say anything to the daughter. Also, I have a dog, but am iffy around other dogs with my kids. The owner should be taking your concerns seriously. If you are concerned for safety pull him out, but if you think talking to the owner will work then give that a shot. Trust your gut, Momma!

Thank you! I think we are going to have to just talk to her first. The daughter was gone today when I picked him up and Dallas was having fun swinging gently and the owner was so chatty and nice and told me all about his day. I am wondering if a lot of these issues (except the dog) stem from the daughter being a little shit head! Not saying it's ok, but I can tell this girl is hard to handle.