LilEffer wrote:

meepmeep wrote:

Parents with one child are also judged.i have one child and we do not plan on having any more. I accept that people judge me. Some people think it is selfish for not wanting to give my son a sibling. I'm okay with being selfish.

 
I feel the same way. We have only one child and I get judged all the time on why we won't have more. It's not anyone's business whether a person chooses to have kids or how many kids. We are happy as a family of three but people make it seem we are not complete.

It's totally not anyone's business!! People can be so insensitive when it comes to stuff like that! Maybe someone has fertility issues, or very difficult pregnancy, or genetic disorders in their genes! It sucks that people are so self absorbed that they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes and think before they speak. 

The people with basketball teams bother me the most.  I know a guy who is SUPER religious, or so he says, maybe just in BC department. He is like 30 with 5 kids!! They started at 18 and just never stopped.  but he stays out super late, like coming home when children are waking up late, and goes hunting over night on the weekends and leaves all 5 children with his wife. like WTF.  but more to the point about affording them, he constantly is asking to borrow money from his friends, but when he does have money he goes and blows in on $1100 dogs and camo shit.  It's so infuriating.  I just don't understand the need to have that many kids if your not born into money, like the stress of being finically responsible for all that must be too much.  

Another story, my uncle has 5 kids and works his ass off, like misses wedding and funerals because he is constantly working.  He is about 3 years older than my dad, but looks like 15 years older than him.  Like what's the point of having a basketball team if you can't even enjoy them because you have to work your ass off to afford them? 

Babette the 2nd wrote:

My ex pushed for children. Hindsight is 20/20. I didn't want them. I left him when they were 3 and 1 - he was a stayayhome dad which I was fine with. Afterwards, he stopped seeing them every weekend, Wednesday's, then holidays. I met & married a man with another child who lived out of state, which was great. Then we find out HIS stepdad was abusive and got custody. So I went from not wanting any to having three. I will say, they have made me a better person, I love them & would die for them. However, I would be a liar if I said I would do it all again. I don't think I'm a great mom, I do my best. I am envious of those women who, because of no kids, have the time/money that I don't. Do I regret my kids? No. Would I give another woman shit for not having them? HELLS TO THE NO. Also, in the same token, I would NEVER be condescending to childless friends. I don't understand the battle I guess.

I don't have kids, the honestly in this made me teary though. I bet you are an amazing Mom, just because you are a REAL Mom. I think the ones that struggle the most (from an outsiders view) are the ones who try to make it always look like puppies & rainbows.

{{{Hugs}}}