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1 of 1- greattaste
- pink princess
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Friends and Obligations
One of Taylor's new soapboxes is to talk about how she is done with anyone who requires her to have obligations. I am interested to hear what everyone thinks about this.
I kind of feel like with any good thing comes with the need to invest in it, and by cutting out anyone that expects her to do things, it is shooting herself in the foot in the long run. I kind of think it is BS when she was talking with Carin about how she can only be there in certain ways, and she needs to not have obligations to people. How can you have a close friendship where there is zero responsibility towards each other? That, to me, seems more like an acquaintance.
Obviously, there is a balance that comes into play, but am I completely off base on this? What do you guys think?
- wintercici
- pink princess
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Re: Friends and Obligations
It's total BS - life is full of obligations to other people. That's what having relationships is about. T needs to realize it can't always be about what's fun for her in the moment. If she doesn't want to be obligated to do what it takes to maintain friendships, she can't complain when her friendships end.
- FKFriday
- queen status
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Re: Friends and Obligations
I think its that whole "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." Its totally her option to feel that way, but don't be upset when your friends are no longer making you a priority.
I've dropped friends who I felt I was the one always putting in the effort. One especially, always texts "Miss your face" "We need to get togeather" blahblahblah. Actually making plans though, she either cancels last minute or just doesn't show. I'm not putting in a ton of effort if you're not, its like any relationship.
On the other hand, I have a friend who is very much like Taylor, right down to sound of their voices & total lack of knowledge of current events. Shes a total flake, always cancels, rarely makes plans and follows through. She manages a bar though and is a single Mom of a teenager, is partially raising her 3 toddler niece & nephews and her Mom has been fighting breast cancer for the past few years. I love her dearly though, and if I ever really needed her, I know she would be there. My Grandfather passed away and she was at my house (lives over an hour away) as soon as she heard with wine & Kleenex. She'll send a random text about how much you mean to her, or flowers for something special. I know she doesn't have any time, but the effort is there.
Not sure if that makes sense.
- Lemondrop718
- pink princess
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Re: Friends and Obligations
I think any friend needs to put effort into the relationship. For her to think that she shouldn't be obligated to anyone but still expect them to be to her is ridiculous. Wintercici you're right, if it's not fun for her or beneficial to her she's not interested. She doesn't need to be up her friends asses (she makes some of them sound like they want her there 24/7) but you can't expect people to want to stay friends with someone who doesn't give anything or try to.
One of my best friends can be a flake sometimes, but so can I. We work opposite schedules, so we have an understanding but we always stay in touch through texts and make plans when we have a common time off. My point being, if she's busy and her friends are understanding she can still put in effort and keep the friendship. But no one wants to feel like they're the only trying.
- greattaste
- pink princess
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Re: Friends and Obligations
Thanks. I know Taylor is, in general, a pretty ridiculous person with some of her views. I feel like sometimes listening to the show messes with my perception of reality because everyone enables Taylor and indulges her in these viewpoints that to me seem so off base.
I guess I can't really judge her friend situation. It does sound like some of them are hurting her feelings, so maybe that is why she is distancing herself. I can understand that, but at times she also seems really out of touch and inconsiderate, frankly, about how she acts towards other people.
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