Taylor Strecker Show & Kenny Zimlingshow Fans » Friendships

FKCSTMom · 4/13/2016 8:38 am

Did you guys have as many toxic friendships as Taylor? I've lived a long and colorful life, had a great career and feel like I was fairly popular in high school and college. I have NEVER had to break up with a friend...yes, I've had friends come and go due to time and distance (moving over the years, etc.). But I just can't get over how many times and stories we have heard about Taylor needing help with friendship---whether it's her mom intervening and she's changing schools or (over the years) her therapists talking her through her fights with friends. Or just all the stories about her friend fights.

Has this happened to you guys?

kbk88 · 4/13/2016 9:24 am

I have had one friendship "break up" in my life (I'm 28 and it happened in college). I really don't fight with my friends on a regular basis and I've known most of them since elementary and middle school.

greattaste · 4/13/2016 9:26 am

I have had friendships where I have definitely drifted apart with people, but I never get into open brawls with people the way Taylor describes.

I did listen this morning, because I am having trouble in one of my own friendships (see my nuts or not topic) and it peaked my interest. I started to think that maybe because Taylor is attracted to drama, she has attracted more toxic people into her life. I did roll my eyes about the jealousy conversation, though.

I have had friendships that have ended badly, though, and usually I knew in my gut for a while it wasn't working, but continued on with it without saying anything and ignoring my instincts. Then a couple of times (not nearly as much as Taylor) it has blown up at the end. I think if I would have listened to myself, though, and just distanced myself and found other people, things would not have ended as poorly as they did.

Last edited by greattaste (4/13/2016 9:29 am)

Ican'teveeeen · 4/13/2016 9:34 am

I was just listening to Friday's show about female friendships with Katie. Katie really tried to talk to her logically about this subject but Taylor just had one excuse after another. Did anyone catch her mentioning her mom had trouble with "mean girls" in high school and had to leave her school her senior year? I wonder if this is a trait that is passed down. I always felt like her mom gave her bad advice about friendships. Seems really messed up to me.

ICantEven · 4/13/2016 10:01 am

I've never had a toxic friendship in my life because when I meet people for the first few times, I get a sense for who they are. If I notice the prospect of drama or craziness, I don't pursue their friendship. It's a very easy concept. If you don't become friends with toxic people, you won't have toxic friendships! I agree that Taylor is a like a moth to a flame in terms of drama (I think she is finally becoming more self aware that she has control over it though now), so it makes sense why her life has always been surrounding with toxicity.

Ican'teveeeen · 4/13/2016 10:09 am

Also, something else she said that struck me, she said if you are truly my friend do not expect to see me or talk to me daily. Well what is TD then? They are pretty much inseparable, cannot think of anything recently she has done without her other than vacation with her family. Does she not consider her a true friend?

piopio12 · 4/13/2016 10:10 am

I think the radio show exacerbates her friendship issues, like what Katie said Friday was logical and smart. But do I want to listed to 3 hours of that for 10 plus years. NOPE. We like the show because of the drama, it's like a car wreck you just can't help but listening and thinking glad that's you not me. The same reason the Real Housewives franchise is so popular.

wintercici · 4/13/2016 10:20 am

No, I've never had drama with friends. We've grown apart, moved away, etc. but never fights. Even in high school all my friends were really nice and got along with each other.
I always wonder how many listeners can really relate to this constant, ongoing topic.

PRECISELY · 4/13/2016 10:41 am

i have an amazing group of close girlfriends. I have about 10 local and a few that have moved around and we don't live in the same place anymore. But we are there for the big stuff. Baby showers, weddings, milestone birthdays, etc. I was listening to the conversation on the radio and all the callers are saying my best friend lives out of state, etc etc. I thought that was different from me. I need my girlfriends. My husband travels and I get bored or I need help with this or that. We are without question there for each other. I have grown apart from some friends or they have different lifestyles and its hard to hang out. But the kind of catty drama Taylor has is all her.
Another a related note, I hate when women say they dont get along with other women. I always think no, you are the problem. I have always had girlfriends and i never pick women that are drama prone. In my circle of friends, there is one girl that always stirs up drama, she is not my friend. She is in my circle of friends.

MyWife! · 4/13/2016 10:44 am

I'll admit that I have drifted away from many friends. I never made them a priority and hate talking on the phone. So unless they lived right next to me, I just wasn't good at keeping in contact. However, I have only had major drama with one friend in all of my 34.5 years on this earth. To have consistent drama with friendships is weird to me. At some point, how does she not wonder if it might be her and not them?

piopio12 · 4/13/2016 10:47 am

wintercici wrote:
I always wonder how many listeners can really relate to this constant, ongoing topic.

I also wonder about people that were so bullied they changed schools. Like that is actually a thing? On DWTS they have this super pretty girl that says she was bullied in HS and had no friends? Then on Stassi's podcast Scheana said she had death threats in middle school because she was pretty? By no means was my HS rainbows and unicorns, but i'm pretty sure girls weren't that mean to each other?

wintercici · 4/13/2016 11:12 am

piopio12 wrote:
wintercici wrote:
I always wonder how many listeners can really relate to this constant, ongoing topic.
I also wonder about people that were so bullied they changed schools. Like that is actually a thing? On DWTS they have this super pretty girl that says she was bullied in HS and had no friends? Then on Stassi's podcast Scheana said she had death threats in middle school because she was pretty? By no means was my HS rainbows and unicorns, but i'm pretty sure girls weren't that mean to each other?

It wasn't like that at my school either. As unsophisticated Tay thinks the world outside of NY is, we're actually able to get along with each other.

AK · 4/13/2016 1:06 pm

I got mean girled "you can't sit with us" by two different groups of girls in school. And my group of friends would occasionally call eachother out if someone had "changed" to our disliking.

My sister had a group of friends who had an Intervention style confrontation with the mean girl of the group.

I think the stuff happens, I know I've felt relief in my adult life when there has been long stretches without confrontation cuz i was so used to it in K-12. Recently though, I was called a "joyless bitch" by a long time very close friend. The incidence are relatively isolated (after school age) but still happen. Some people just suck.

On_Point · 4/13/2016 1:45 pm

I am just now going through a bit of a mean girl situation, where a new friend of an old friend of mine is not very friendly to me. I can tell she feels threatened by me, and as made comments about a few things that are like "really?" It started when I guy she was sleeping with drunkenly told her that he thinks I am beautiful and have "nice boobs." Super shitty of him to do that obviously, but it's not my fault. She has been rude to me since then in many ways. He is the owner of a bar we frequent, so to show her that I have no part in his comments, I have started to wear only high cut tops when we go. There are other things too, but this is my first friendship where things like keep coming up and it's hard to know how to navigate it all.

meepmeep · 4/13/2016 1:58 pm

piopio12 wrote:
wintercici wrote:
I always wonder how many listeners can really relate to this constant, ongoing topic.
I also wonder about people that were so bullied they changed schools. Like that is actually a thing? On DWTS they have this super pretty girl that says she was bullied in HS and had no friends? Then on Stassi's podcast Scheana said she had death threats in middle school because she was pretty? By no means was my HS rainbows and unicorns, but i'm pretty sure girls weren't that mean to each other?

As someone who taught middle school for 10 years, kids can be cruel. Running away and changing schools does not solve the problem. Clearly, because Taylor is still back in middle school working through those friendship issues. Usually the kids that are not assertive are the ones that are not allowed to have an opinion in their family. If they disagree with their parents they are shot down and they learn their voice does not matter. This is so unfortunate. The most important thing you can do for your child is to teach them to stand up for themself! Sorry about my rant.

BathiesTime · 4/13/2016 2:39 pm

I think the reason friendships have been so hard on Tay lately is because she has said it herself, she burns bridges easily. So maybe in the past, when things have gotten hard, she just stopped talking to the friend. But now, she doesn't want to drop friends as easily, so she has to have those tough conversations that might not have been so tough if she would have confronted her feelings earlier.
I'll admit, I've had long lasting friendships. but I have had those frienemies also. I think you just have to decide if a friendship is worth it. If it is, then you put up with the crap. There are a lot of personalities out there.

greattaste · 4/13/2016 3:44 pm

meepmeep wrote:
piopio12 wrote:
wintercici wrote:
I always wonder how many listeners can really relate to this constant, ongoing topic.
I also wonder about people that were so bullied they changed schools. Like that is actually a thing? On DWTS they have this super pretty girl that says she was bullied in HS and had no friends? Then on Stassi's podcast Scheana said she had death threats in middle school because she was pretty? By no means was my HS rainbows and unicorns, but i'm pretty sure girls weren't that mean to each other?

As someone who taught middle school for 10 years, kids can be cruel. Running away and changing schools does not solve the problem. Clearly, because Taylor is still back in middle school working through those friendship issues. Usually the kids that are not assertive are the ones that are not allowed to have an opinion in their family. If they disagree with their parents they are shot down and they learn their voice does not matter. This is so unfortunate. The most important thing you can do for your child is to teach them to stand up for themself! Sorry about my rant.

I have a master's in psych and worked with troubled kids, and this is dead on. It is important to model to children to be assertive yet considerate.

wintercici · 4/13/2016 4:08 pm

BathiesTime wrote:
I think the reason friendships have been so hard on Tay lately is because she has said it herself, she burns bridges easily. So maybe in the past, when things have gotten hard, she just stopped talking to the friend. But now, she doesn't want to drop friends as easily, so she has to have those tough conversations that might not have been so tough if she would have confronted her feelings earlier.
I'll admit, I've had long lasting friendships. but I have had those frienemies also. I think you just have to decide if a friendship is worth it. If it is, then you put up with the crap. There are a lot of personalities out there.

I hope she doesn't do anything to hurt Taylor D. It seems like she latches onto people so quickly and intensely and eventually moves from group to group. I'm kind of waiting for the ball to drop.

youcaaango · 4/13/2016 4:38 pm

At some point, you just have to get toxic people out of your life. It doesn't mean they're bad (or you are), sometimes you're just not good together. She keeps these crazy people around for far too long and then has to be in a battle all the time. That sometimes includes family members too - I think her mom is a major contributor to her friend/relationship issues.

Zara81 · 4/13/2016 7:50 pm

I dealt with mean girls in high school so I can relate to bullying and all of that. But taylor repeatedly goes through this even in adult life. I think part of her problem is that she picks the wrong friends. She tends to want friends because they're beautiful, rich or fabulous instead of based on their personalities. Big shocker when they turn out to be shallow bitches.